It is close to spring here in the Pacific Northwest. Where I live, we will be hiking up mountains to see alpine flowers blooming, and we are already seeing bare-root fruit trees and the first blooms. The forsythia is starting to fill the air. When spring comes every year I think about the beginnings, where I was where I’m going.

Meditation in the beginning can help you flesh out your dreams for yourself, and your practice.

When I started practicing bodywork under a mentor when I lived in California with the intent that this was going to lead to my life’s work, I was 17 years old and just out of high school

Lately I have been remembering the trepidation and curiosity of the 17-year-old girl who asked to learn massage, and the generosity of my mentor to take on the feat of teaching me. Both of us were starting something new. I was learning to touch with the intent of easing pain. She was placed in the role of “teacher” for the first time.

This past week I told a story to a group of students about when I felt this way about a technique I’ve been studying and practicing for the past 10 years, and I asked my teacher where I could go for more advanced training. “Where do I go for more?” I asked him. “Back to the beginning.” He said.

Ah. Of course. We deepen our knowledge when we open the door to learning not by mere “review” but examining learned concepts with a new lens and deeper awareness. Approaching more complex ideas after resuming classes, readings or practicing our basic technique can prepare us for the next level.

The idea that we have “arrived” or “achieved mastery” and nothing more to learn only wisdom to impart is the type of hubris that will limit us and repel people, information, and new approaches to ancient techniques which could expand our minds.

Hubris also kills the curiosity that brought you to the practice of healing in the first place and creates boredom.

When I started studying Akido and Zen meditation I was introduced to the idea of functioning with a “beginner’s mind.” The Beginner’s Mind approach allows us to see different angles just like in Akido, and accounting for multiple variables.

The Beginner’s Mind is a Spring Mind. It is blooming in different directions from the same branch.

I encourage you to meditate on your beginnings, and where you go from here.

Happy dreaming!

Over the years that I studied massage, bodywork, energy work, aromatherapy, herbology, I’ve had to revisit my “why”. Why do I do this work? Why am I drawn to it? Why does it give me energy? What am I bringing to my customers daily? How am I working to improve their lives?

There have been times when I thought the pay wasn’t good enough, the hours were too long, the commute didn’t make sense…. on and on. This is when I revisited my why and my how, and even the “when” of my career.

I’m inspired to write this post based on a comment from a massage therapist in an online forum. They basically said that they didn’t really care about their job as deeply as other massage therapists do. They are there for a paycheck. They do a job, they go home. It was in response to some questions I asked over a forum regarding continuing education and how people felt about it. What type of effort do they want to put into it and what kind of return they expect. What are they really looking for? The response seemed to be that they wanted the easiest thing they could possibly do so they could go back to work. They don’t really “geek out about kinesiology”. Some even implied that CE was a waste of time, and they resented the requirement at all.

I get it. We all need the paycheck, we’re not volunteers.

Now I’m going to take you back to your why. And how I navigate my own why after all these years. After all I keep learning, and go to my CE more than I need to admittedly because I AM a geek 😉

When we navigate our why its not about comparing ourselves to others. That’s too basic. Its about discovering what drives YOU. Not anything else. To give great service, you must love it. If you don’t love it, find something else to do. And you don’t have to leave the massage profession for it. There are literally hundreds of different types of modalities. You can have many careers in your lifetime just inside the wellness industry and in the massage and bodywork industry.

When we look at the body we are treating as a paycheck or how much we can upsell, how big of a tip we might get…it changes the energy exchange between the two of you. I know…I just went a little “woo” on you but stay with me here.

Think about the times you went for treatment where you felt listened to, advocated for? Your physical comfort was the practitioner’s top priority? This is the difference.

People can really feel when your touch comes across as exploring for pain and tension OR going through the motions until the clock runs out.

When you ask the right questions not just with your verbal questions but with your palpation and movement the answers can guide you to unlocking the source of pain and tension in the body. When customers feel that YOU love the WORK you do it makes a difference to them. They truly feel nourished and cared for. That’s when you go home energized, not drained, and you start to become surprised by how easy it becomes for you. I believe that this is when money flows easier for you, and a job is no longer a grind, and you no longer have pain and soreness in your body as you work.

So, if you are feeling stuck, unchallenged, bored, or underappreciated in the current place you are in your massage career, I invite you to do a simple exercise of rediscovering your “why”.  You can write it on a piece of paper, in a journal, on the mirror in the bathroom…whatever. Keep it with you for a while though. See if it shifts when you look back on it.

Why did I enter this field?

What drives me?

What gives me joy about my work?

What gives me energy about my work?

If the answers to those questions are not reflected in your current work, then plan to change it by exploring what gets you up in the morning!

Is it dogs? Guess what…there’s small animal massage.

Is it cooking? Well. Maybe learning more about Ayervada and Thai massage herbology treatments is up your ally.

Learn more about the things that give you energy and joy.

I’m well known in my community for giving a quiet massage. I’ve been told by customers this is a quality they really enjoy about me and is sometimes a reason they booked a massage with me or remained my customer. It comes easily to me because I am mostly an introverted person. In this blog post, I hope to help you with that if you’re struggling with a quiet massage.

These days we talk more about what it means to be an introvert which is refreshing as I’ve gone through my childhood and early adulthood often feeling misunderstood.

We often get mistaken for being “snobby” or “aloof” or disinterested in other people’s lives. Nothing could be further from the truth for most of the introverts I know, yet we still sometimes have trouble with some social interactions.

When I do a medical, SI or sports massage session, I might be asking more questions about their body during a session. After all we are doing therapeutics in those sessions. But classic massage is a relaxation art and my goal for the patient is rest, and restoration.

When I taught courses at a local massage school to new therapists they would often ask: “How can you stand not talking to someone you are touching?” Or “How can I POSSIBLY be expected to NOT talk for an entire hour!?”

For someone who often struggles with small talk, answering that question was a little difficult, especially when this is a personality difference. They were being asked to step out of what is normal to them, and I had to find a way to help them with customers who don’t want to chat during a massage.

My simple answer is: Embrace Silence. This is an exercise just like when we exercise a weak muscle or try to implement a new habit. You won’t do it perfectly, so think of it as an exercise.

I think it’s also important to know that there are no rules to Embracing Silence, and not all customers want the same thing.

We may have some who like a little talk; some who want to “unload” knowing someone is simply listening; some who find others fascinating and want to pepper you with a lot of questions.

We get into a slippery slope of “talk therapy” if we engage in the things people unload. It’s natural to be curious and want to show that we care. No one wants to seem rude or uncaring by not responding when someone tells us something personal or difficult. Responding with advice or thoughts on courses of action walks us out of our scope of practice though and can set us up for problems. It’s appropriate to have resources available to customers if talk therapy is something that will help. I usually have a list or some cards for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists.

If we answer a bunch of questions during a massage treatment, we can slide into the friend zone or simply give away too much information about ourselves even though the customer might just be curious and well meaning.

Students wanted more out of me…What do you mean “embrace silence?” Ok…here are some skills to practice and my more through answer:

1)      Ask them! At your intake interview, no matter if you are in a high-volume spa or if you run your own boutique business, get in the habit of asking the customer how they would like you to interact with them during the massage. Example: “I give a quiet relaxation massage, unless a little chat helps you to unwind. Likely, I’ll respond to you and then let you rest, but I’ll ask you a few times about my pressure to make sure it’s right for you.”

This lets the customer know your expectation is that they will relax and gives them permission to be silent without feeling awkward. It helps people who have never had a massage before know that they are not being rude by not talking to you and asking you about yourself. It also encourages people who have a hard time relaxing to try to settle themselves. Participating in a little bit of chat gives them enough to know you are a safe person and its ok to let go of their tension.

2)      Let the conversation go to sleep. If people ask you questions that you enjoy answering try to be mindful of that. If you feel a little thrill of “Oooo…I get to have a fun conversation about me!” That’s your cue to give a simple planned answer and redirect the conversation back to the patient where the conversation can lull and go to sleep. Letting the conversation go to sleep so to speak can feel unnatural at first if you love to meet new people. Remember this experience is not about that, its about the customer’s experience.

Example:

Customer who indicated they like a little chat:

Customer: So, how did you get into massage therapy? You seem really good at it, I love this place!

The customer has just opened the door for you to not only talk about something you really like to talk about but also complimented your place of business. You might be tempted to tell your story and grab the opportunity to gain a loyal customer and talk more about your services. That could occupy the whole hour!

Therapist: I got into the business because always loved getting massages, and I wanted to help people. Thank you! I’m so glad you are having a great experience here. What kind of massage therapy do you like best?

You just gave a polite simple answer, thanked them for being a customer, and redirected the conversation to what they want to experience.

For someone who wants a little chatting, constantly redirecting the conversation back to their massage will take practice, especially if you try this tactic with someone you’ve been massaging for years!

3)      Place your focus under your hands. If you place your mind under your hands and connect with your breathing, your attention will be hyper-focused on the muscle, bone, blood vessels, lymph tissue, organs, nerve tissue, trigger points, adhesions, energy…Oh my so much to do in this body…no time for talkie talkie!

In conclusion: Embracing Silence does not mean we have to tell patients they can’t talk, or you don’t talk to them at all. It means you are placing the customer and the art of massage at the center of your focus for the duration of their treatment.

As a society we’ve developed the habit of looking back on the previous year and making plans for the next and asking ourselves some important questions going forward. I’ve taken the track of making a learning list. My family and I decided on what we want to learn in the next year. I’ll share! This year I’m going to continue to pursue Craniosacral therapy as a certification and do a deeper dive into ZenBodytherapy®. I also want to learn more movement modalities in Yoga and QiGong, and for fun, I’m going to pick up the mandolin!

As an entrepreneur, I have the habit of keeping a journal, and sometimes several for different topics. I keep a journal that is for my massage practice and it’s helpful as I comb through ideas for marketing, new treatments, things I want to learn, and how I can grow or maintain what I have.

As I enter 2025 with 32 years in the healing arts, and 26 years of being a massage therapist, I am looking at where I’m going with a lot of excitement. I decided I am going to share my journal questions to see if they might be helpful to you on your healing arts career path. I also decided to add a few that I’ve used in years past that were helpful to my career growth.

Who is my customer today, and have their needs or desires changed? If so, am I keeping up with what they want from a bodyworker?

Is my location working for me?

Should I hire someone or rent part of my space to someone?

Should I add a retail element to my space?

Do I have any treatments on my menu I no longer enjoy or are not selling anymore?

What are other practitioners in my region doing that is selling well?

How many friends do I have who are massage therapists?

What is new in the field of research I’ve not read yet?

What books should I be reading?

What modalities interest me the most?

How much am I spending on marketing and is it working for me?

Should I offer different or new discounts?

What marketing efforts are my colleagues using that work well?

And most important:

What am I doing to maintain my physical strength and health for the longevity of my practice?

How am I seeking healing for myself?

How many massages do I get in a month? And is that number consistent with what I would recommend to me if I were my massage client?

The Beginning